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Langston in the NICU

4 Things NICU Parents want you to know

Anyone who has been through the NICU experience knows that it is one wild ride! A definite emotional roller coaster of sorts. It’s such a very delicate time. Oftentimes family and friends don’t know what to do or say which can make an already difficult situation seem unbearable. Keep reading to find out 4 things NICU parents wish you knew.

  • We’re not as strong as you think we are

The saying goes “You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice”.  That’s just it.  Sometimes we smile to suppress the tears.  Many times I was asked how I kept pushing.  How I kept working full time while my son was in the NICU and my answer was always the same “I just do it”

  • We’re terrified

There are so many alarms and monitors, wires and restrictions … we’re being inundated with lab results and updates, statistics and research studies. Your child’s health is literally minute to minute and at the blink of an eye everything can change. You witness loss all around you…The fear is almost paralyzing.

  • We’re not trying to be rude

NICU births are unlike term births in many ways. There are so many more layers, so many complex situations occurring at the same time so responses to phone calls, texts, etc. may be limited. It’s all very overwhelming. The exhaustion, stress, and anxiety as well other emotions that may not be easy to understand are at an all-time high. Some new moms struggle with depression and guilt, not to mention the stress of childbirth itself. This is not the time to bombard parents for pictures or recurrent requests to visit the hospital. It’s a very delicate time for both the parents and their new bundle of joy.

  • We don’t know…

That applies to SO much when you have a child in the NICU. We don’t know why things happen or how oftentimes. We don’t know what happens next. We can only live minute by minute or risk losing what bit of sanity we have left. We don’t know when we’ll get to go home either as things change so ridiculously quick in the NICU world. So when you hear “I don’t know” it’s not a snub or an effort to blow you off, we’re just trying to survive.

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2 Comments

  • Reply Sharon Rice

    I admire you so much, you are such a strong, beautiful, intelligent, black woman! I am always impressed by your faith and strength! My son was a NICU baby but no where near as long as Prince L or any of the other littler warriors in here. My son was onl in the NICU for the first 2 day then he went to regular nursery then 2 days later he came home. That joy was short lived because he spiked a 103.2 fever a day later which labded him back in the NICU for 2 1/2 weeks. I felt like I was in a movie and everything and everyone was moving around me as I stood still. seeing my son hooked to all those machines and the doctors not knowing what was wrong with him left me feeling helpless. As they were doing the spinal tap I dropped to the floor in tears bc my baby was screaming so loud and there was nothing I could do to help him, I couldn’t even touch him! So I can’t even begin to fathom what any of you women were feeling after seeing your preemie. God saves His strongest warriors for His toughest battles. You women are my heros!

    June 23, 2017 at 3:24 am
    • Reply Langston's Mommy

      This made me tear up…thank you

      June 24, 2017 at 3:36 pm

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