I’ll love you for Forever,
I’ll like you for Always,
As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be…
From the moment I found out Langston existed he became the most important thing in my world. From that moment, I was willing to make whatever sacrifices necessary for him. It was a love that was unlike anything I had imagined and this was before he even had a heartbeat! LOL Seriously…the first ultrasound was so early there was no heartbeat yet.
He taught me a love beyond anything I could have imagined and made me want to be my very best self for him as I feel he deserves the very best. Here we are now, 2 years later and so many times I wonder am I doing enough?…am I a good mom? It seem in those moments he knows and he flashes that sweet smile or comes and plants the biggest, wettest kiss he can on me and right then I know… We as moms are so hard on ourselves and it’s great to get some reassurance that you’re on the right track. This mom stuff is HARD! I pray and try to improve daily. I’m not quite the mom I want to be but I’m grateful for a son who loves me unconditionally. When I walk in from work everyday that face says it all. He claps and cheers and runs to me immediately. I get a tight hug and a sloppy kiss automatically. I am his person. He trusts me and he believes in me…that’s my catalyst for sure.
Today, the part of my heart that walks outside of my body started daycare. He started off the morning very clingy. It was almost like he knew there was some trickery afoot. He didn’t want me to put him down and wanted extra kisses. My brother suggested that maybe he could sense my anxiety so I stopped and prayed then before I knew it, he perked right up. When we got to the school he was cautious but ok. He whined a little but overall he was ok. I sat in the parking lot for about 30 minutes… it was tough but I was at peace.
For weeks I cried and had panic attacks at the thought but today was the day. I must admit, he did better than I did…today I prayed over my baby. The miracle that God gave me. He fought so hard to be here and I don’t take for granted that I’m blessed to experience this moment. It wasn’t easy but I had to get out of his way and allow him to flourish. I pray God’s hedge of protection remain around him. I pray for his peace. I pray for his happiness and that God will fill his heart with joy. I pray for his success and prosperity. Last but not least, I pray for his teachers and support staff…hoping they realize they now have my most precious gift…my most prized possession.
Reunited and it feels so good!